“Self love is the Greatest Middle Finger of all Time,” Author Unknown

As I sit here contemplating the changes that I would like to make in the New Year, my thoughts center on one, self love.  I have suffered most of my life of feelings of inadequacy, never being good enough, pretty enough or just enough in general.  I’ve come to realize that needs to stop…instead of trying to measure up to others expectations of me I need to live up to my own.

In school I was bullied..made fun of for the clothes that I wore and even my last name.  You may think that those are just words but in all honesty words hold a lot of power.  They hold the power to break us down and make us feel small.  There was one exchange of words that held the most power and what I feel started me on my downward spiral of not loving myself.

When I was in middle school we had this project called the Voyage of the Mimi.  It was during this time that I had decided that I wanted to be a Marine Biologist, work at SeaWorld and attend the University of Florida.  I can still remember the excitement that I had in that moment as a young teenager realizing a dream.  I remember when I confided in someone that I thought would support me in anything that I did.  The words that came out of their mouth still haunt me today.  They looked at me and said that they didn’t see me working with animals, let alone people.  I was crushed, as a teenager what I heard was that I wasn’t good enough and that I would never be good enough.  Those very words affected every aspect of my life….relationships and jobs that I have held throughout the years.

But it’s time to let go in 2020…time to let go of the words that have held so much power for so many years and to begin to love myself.  So I begin this year with a new mantra….I am good enough…I am pretty enough…and even if others don’t I have enough love for myself.